The Trickster And The Roman
by Amelia Greene
Summary: The Doctor and Rory get bored, and Amy and River soon learn that this should never happen. As you can see, still not much better with summaries... T for some swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I seem to be on a roll with updating tonight, so here's another story I started a while ago. Enjoy! =)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, BBC owns it all.**

The Doctor stood in the console room frowning. He was so bored! Amy and River had gone off to do "girl stuff". Or at least that's what they'd said. Women could be so annoying sometimes! Suddenly an idea came into his head and he almost burst out laughing at the thought. But there was one problem; he'd never be able to do before they got back unless… Rory! He could help him with his idea!

At that, the Doctor set off in search of Rory the Roman.

Rory sat on the bed in his and Amy's room and contemplated on what to do. River and his wife (he never got tired of calling that beautiful ginger his wife) were out doing "girl stuff" which meant they'd probably be busy for a while. It wasn't like he could go around to the pub for a drink with his mates because; oh look we're in a space ship that travels through time.

Before he could get much farther in his thoughts, there was a knock at the door and the Doctor peered his head in.

"Rory!"

Rory sighed and raised an eyebrow. "Doctor, you do know that after you knock, you're supposed to wait until the person inside gives you permission to enter, right?"

"But that's no fun!" the Doctor retorted.

"Do you remember the last time you didn't do that?"

Both men shivered at that. Rory liked the Doctor, but sometimes he swore he could kill him. Both Rory and Amy had made a lot of colorful threats that day.

"Ah. Right. Um, yeah, I'd rather not like a repeat of that either. I don't think I'll ever get that picture out of my head. I'll try to remember that for next time." The Doctor stuttered.

"Okay good. So, not to sound rude, but what did you want?" Rory questioned.

For a second the Doctor looked confused as if he forgot, but then promptly remembered. "Oh, right! I don't know about you, but it's very boring without Amy and River around, and I had an idea."

"And?"

The Doctor grinned and said, "Do you like practical jokes?"

Rory listened to the Doctor's idea and felt a grin slowly make its way onto his face. This was going to be way better than going down to the pub.

**A/N So there's the first chapter, I hope you liked it. =) Please review, they're wonderful bundles of goodness. =D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Alright, so here's the second chapter, hope you like it! =)**

Amy and River were laughing about several stories about both Rory and the Doctor while they had known them when they walked into the TARDIS. The first thing they noticed was that it was pitch black inside the machine. The second thing they noticed was that neither the Doctor nor Rory was around.

"Rory? Doctor? This isn't funny you know. Come on out!" Amy shouted.

River sighed, "I hope the Doctor didn't get the idea to play hide-and-seek again, otherwise we'll never find him."

"For someone who claims to be nine-hundred and seven years old, he can be pretty damn childish." Amy muttered.

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm married to that fool." River replied, hiding a grin.

The two girls decided to split up and search, figuring they'd cover more ground that way. River handed Amy a stun gun just to be on the safe side, just in case there was something lurking in the TARDIS. Right after, she took one out for herself.

As River walked down a corridor, she started thinking why the lights were out. There were several possibilities. One, there was something wrong with the lights. Two, there was something in the TARDIS that had managed to turn them off. And then the third, and most likely reason was that Rory and the Doctor were trying to scare River and Amy.

River snorted at the thought. If the boys thought that merely turning off the lights would scare them, then they were sadly mistaken.

Suddenly, she heard a quiet shuffling behind her. River froze, every instinct on red-alert. She silently pulled her gun close to her, and put her finger on the trigger ready to fire.

"Doctor?" River called out.

The shuffling grew louder and closer, as if what she heard had gotten closer and grown in size.

_**Scrttch!**_

She slowly turned and looked around, but she wouldn't have even been able to see her hand if it was right in front of her face.

_**Scrttch! Scrttch!**_

"Doctor, this isn't funny! Get out here and show your cowardly face right now!" River shouted.

_**Scrttch! Scrttch! Scrttch!**_

Before River could shout the Doctor's name again, she felt something on her leg, and she immediately tensed. She moved to swat it off, but then she felt several other things on her legs, and moving up her body.

Suddenly the lights came on to reveal that a swarm of rats had surrounded River, and that several had started to crawl on her. Her eyes widened and she dropped the stun gun as she screamed loud enough to create a rift in time and space the size of Belgium.

**A/N So that's the second chapter then. =) Hope you liked it, please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Here's the third chapter! I think there's only one more after this, but there's also a sequel. Enjoy! =D **

As Amy walked down a hallway in the TARDIS, she would've given anything for a flashlight. The only thing she could hear were her quiet footsteps on floor.

After several minutes of walking down what seemed like an endless hallway, she heard a scream echo through the TARDIS. Amy swallowed nervously, trying to persuade herself that it was just the boys trying to scare her, but she couldn't help think of how much it had sounded like River.

Eventually Amy came to the end of the hallway, and on her right stood a white metal door. Switching the stun gun to her left hand, and reaching out for the doorknob with her right, she slowly opened the door. As Amy eased the door open, the hinges creaked ominously. She couldn't help feeling like the innocent victim in a horror movie as she stepped through of the doorway.

The room Amy had just walked inside was just as dark as the hallway she had stepped out of. When taking a step forward, she tested each place she put her foot down to make sure there was something beneath it before putting all of her weight on it.

_**Grrrrr…**_

Amy's eyes widened at the noise. It had sounded raw and animalistic. Inside her, a primal fear awakened. Her heart raced and a cold sweat broke out on her neck.

"Rory? Doctor?" Amy whispered.

Suddenly she felt something slam into her left side, and she fell through the air before hitting water. She cried out, but was instantly submerged and the shock of the cold water forced her out of her frozen state and she started to thrash around in the water madly.

The lights came on and Amy was aware of laughter and arms pulling her soaked body out of the water.

When her eyes finally adjusted to the bright lights, she was staring into the face of her husband, who was still laughing.

"The look on your face!" Rory howled as he set Amy down.

Her face and the tips of her ears felt as if they were on fire, a contrast to the rest of her body that was shaking from both the freezing temperature of the pool she had been so rudely shoved into.

"_YOU_ DID THIS?" Amy screamed at him, nearly shaking with rage.

Rory stopped laughing, suddenly remembering that he had married a redhead with a fiery temper, "Well, you see, it's not entirely my fault! It was the Doctor's idea… I just kind of went along with it…"

Amy smacked him on the arm, turned on her heel, and started to walk out of the room, leaving a trail of water behind her. She stopped at the door and turned to look at her husband who was now staring at her wide-eyed in fear. She stopped herself from grinning evilly as she spoke as calmly as she could, "If I were you, I'd watch your step from now on because I have three words for you."

Amy paused for a second before adding, "Payback's a bitch."

Rory watched Amy leave with eyes bigger than saucers. Maybe he would've been better off going to the pub after all…

**A/N Please review! Thanks! =)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Okay, here is the last chapter, hope you like it!**

Promptly after screaming, River managed to run away from the mass of rats that had surrounded her. It wasn't that she hated just rats; she just hated anything that could crawl all over her. She was perfectly fine with looking at them as long as they didn't come near her.

As she turned the corner trying to distance herself from the rolling tide of rodents behind her, she ran straight into the Doctor, who had pulled out his sonic screwdriver which caused a barrier to form between them and the hallway River had just ran out of.

The first thing she noticed was laughter. The Doctor had fell on the ground after she'd bumped into him and was now rolling on the ground and couldn't seem to stop.

River could feel her face and the tips of her ears burning, and she figured she must look as red as a beet. This was one of those times where she could happily kill her husband without feeling an ounce of guilt.

After what felt like an era, his laughter subsided, leaving the Doctor grinning like the idiot he was, if he thought he was going to get out of her fury unscathed.

When the Doctor looked up towards River and saw the man that could make armies run for the hills look like he was going to run himself, she felt a rush of satisfaction.

"Hello, Sweetie." She growled through gritted teeth.

Trying to keep his cool, the Doctor joked, "What do you think of getting a couple of pet rats?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and leaned towards him until he was pressed up against the wall. "If I were you, I'd watch your back and remember who you've just messed with. Here's a suggestion that you should take into consideration. Sleep with one eye open tonight, otherwise there might be a repeat of what happened in Cali." River whispered in his ear.

As his eyes were closed she turned and walked away, ideas for revenge already swirling around in her head.

The Doctor closed his eyes and shivered at the mention of California. That wasn't his most pleasant memory. By the time he opened his eyes, all he saw was one of her heels disappearing around a corner.

The Doctor swallowed nervously and bit his lip. Why did he have to go and do this? Of all of the things he had to do to drive away boredom, he just had to go and mess with River.

The Doctor sighed as he pushed himself from his position against the wall and headed towards the console room. He knew he wasn't going to be getting any sleep tonight.

Both women took showers after leaving their husbands, and met up afterwards, eager for revenge.

By the time midnight rolled around, they had their plan in order and couldn't wait for tomorrow, because revenge was best served below freezing.

**A/N Okay so that's it, I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it. =) I've started a sequel, and I'll see if I can finish it tonight, or at least post some of it then. Please review! **

**Oh, and before I forget, the sequel is called Revenge Is Best Served Below Freezing. Thanks! =)**


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